Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
