apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
