If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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