talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
