never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
