he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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