We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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