we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
