she woke up with a sticky ear
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
