Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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