is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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