I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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