they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
