I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
