i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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