i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
