so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
