I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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