so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
