OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
