Screwed.edu
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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