You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
