I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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