Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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