rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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