i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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