no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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