how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
