then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
