Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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