You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
