i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
