I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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