I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
