Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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