I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
