I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
