Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
