Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
