i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he told me I talked like a deaf person
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
