____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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