Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
