I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We have started to decorate penises.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
