He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
