Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
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