You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
