evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize