just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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