It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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