he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
