My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
