why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
