dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
