Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
