she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
