I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize