And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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