i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
