Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
